Survivor, Michigan Style Due to the popularity of the survivor show, Michigan is planning to do its own version, entitled 'Survivor, Michigan Style." The contestants will start in Port Huron, travel to Cadillac, Traverse City, Boyne City, Mackinaw, Houghton Lake and then to Bay City, Flint, Pontiac, Detroit, Ann Arbor, Jackson and Lansing, then back into Port Huron. Each will be driving a pink, Foreign-made 2-door coupe with California plates and will have the following bumper stickers affixed to their bumpers: * Snowmobiles are stupid * I hate the Detroit Red Wings * Michigan should share the Great Lakes * I don't believe in hunting and I'm here to confiscate your guns * All Deer Hunters are Fags The one to make it back to Port Huron alive wins. |
WHO SAYS REDNECKS AIN'T REAL BRIGHT?? Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm calling to report about my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood." "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left.. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. "Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yep." "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." |
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Second Childhood |
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Granny Grafix© Studios Atlanta, Texas |
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A woman goes to the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently
deceased husband is published. The obit editor informs her that there is a
charge of 50 cents per word. She pauses, reflects, and then she says, "Well then, let it read "Fred Brown died." Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a seven-word minimum for all obituaries. She thinks it over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read, 'Fred Brown died: golf clubs for sale.'" |
THE 5 STAGES OF LIFE 1. To Grow Up 2. To Fill Out 3. To Slim Down 4. To Hold It In 5. To Heck With It |
Granny's Grins |
Granny's Grins |
Two elderly WalMart greeters were sitting on a bench at the entryway, when one turns
to the other and says, "Slim, I'm 73 years old now and I'm just full of aches
and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?' Slim says, "I feel just like a new-born baby." "Really, like a new-born baby?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth and I think I just wet my pants." |
"Happy Birthday, Buddy." |
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